Statistics prove that you are turd.

Question for you. How well do you know your mom? Your dad?

Fairly well?

Have you ever suspected that one of them may have been a banana?

It sounds crazy, but according to GetScience.com, humans share around 60% of our DNA with bananas.

Further complicating matters is that we also share 60% of our DNA with fruit flies. 

Now, perhaps you didn't take a stats class in college? But luckily for you, I did, so let me interpret these results quickly.

Essentially, what we're saying here is that almost certainly one of your parents was a banana. And the other one was a fruit fly. Which completely explains the attraction they had for each other. 

So what does that make you? You are the product of a fruit fly eating a banana. That product would be called fruit fly feces.

So technically, according to the best science we have to date, you and I (but mainly you) are nothing more than the poop of a fruit fly. 

How does that feel? Are you feeling a bit less self-important now?